The Water Cooler
By Bonta Hill
Sports Editor
I missed my deadline this week in submitting this edition of the Water Cooler. I’m starting to feel the pressure of maintaining the humor I deliver in this column.
Let’s see how far that excuse rides with my copy editors. I bet they’ll bust my chops when we go over this issue of The Guardsman.
Maybe I’ll write about the Oakland Raiders every issue because there is no shortage of laughs when you talk about Al Davis and the crew. Maybe I’ll just talk about staff writer Greg Zeman’s ridiculous glasses that he wears to class on cloudy school days.
Then again, why would I want to waste ink on those two topics? Mr. Zeman, I love you man...
Idiots of the week
Many candidates submitted their applications this week to join the great idiot hall of fame. In the end of this hiring process, the final decision was made to go with Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Pedro Martinez and former NBA player Antione Walker.
What comes to mind when you think of Martinez? I think about the ridiculous statements he makes in his press conferences. Great pitcher, hall of famer, no doubt about it, but when you say things like: “I might be at times the most influential player that ever stepped in Yankee Stadium. I can honestly say that.”
Huh? Dude, you’re not even the most influential player to ever walk in Fenway Park or Olympic Stadium (Home parks of the Boston Red Sox and the ancient Montreal Expos). When guys like Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, Joe DiMaggio, and the other Yankee greats have stepped in that stadium, you, Pedro, have no right to make a statement like that.
Anybody know how to blow $110 million? I don’t, but I’m sure Walker would have tips on how to do that. Check it: in 12 years, he made more than $110 million playing professional basketball. This includes shoe contracts and video game covers.
Guess what? The guy is $4 million in debt. Say what? The 33-year-old Walker is now facing felony check fraud charges in Las Vegas.
I won’t get on Walker too much because I can imagine how depressed he is at this moment. Hell, I’m depressed if I blow $40 at a bar. I’m a journalist, I should be sippin’ for free.
Whatever the case may be, welcome Pedro and ‘Toine! You have made the idiot hall of fame.
MISC.
In boxing news, the great Manny Pacquiao was quoted as saying, “Floyd Mayweather doesn’t want to fight me.” Let’s just hope Mayweather does and makes that happen. Matter of fact, let’s pray on that happening...
I know the NBA season has just gotten underway, but I’m saying it now. Lakers-Celtics in the championship series. Book it...
A lot of west coast homers are not that interested in this year’s fall classic, but Yankees-Phillies has the makings to be a classic. You have power, speed, pitching and the unpredictable moves of managers Joe Girardi and Charlie Manuel.
I’ll be rooting for the Phillies, but I’ll stick with my prediction and say the Yanks will be poppin’ champagne when it’s all said and done.
