Bullying: it's more than just a playground issue

By Frank LadraThe Guardsman

Almost everybody has been a victim of bullying at one point in his or her life.

For some, the distant childhood experience might be a haze, hidden in a cloud of denial or buried under years of therapeutic processing. For others, the memories are as painfully fresh as a paper cut, inflicting a discomforting sting with every reminder.

But even with a fight-back attitude, much of the focus is on bullying the bully. We forget that it’s really everyone’s responsibility to stop the initial behavior.

Many of you readers may think this story has nothing to do with you—trust me, it has everything to do with you.

In the past few months, there has been an increase in media coverage of teen suicides and the effect that bullying can have on gay and lesbian youth.

Many of these youth do not feel safe coming out with their orientation because they, or others like them, have been rejected by friends; were verbally or physically abused or were bullied as a result.

Bullying is often nothing more than ignorance; an intolerance bred from the lack of understanding that certain individuals don’t always share the same values or beliefs.

Imagine how difficult it must be for these questioning youth, who already have the predictable stress of being an adolescent, paired with an orientation that further excludes them from what society has deemed normal.

Parents with deep seated values pass them down from generation to generation. Their hatred, insecurities—and yes, bullying bigotry—seep into the minds of their young impressionable children, who look to them for guidance and understanding of the diverse and colorful world around them.

Dan Savage, author of the “Savage Love” column, criticizes these parents who, in their efforts to raise wholesome children, foster nothing but “bigoted little monsters created not in the image of a loving God, but in the image of the hateful and false ‘followers of Christ’ they call Mom and Dad.”

Educated people often pride themselves on their levels of political correctness. Casual proclamations like: “One of my best friends is black!” or, “I have a gay uncle!” seem to vaguely give their proclaimers a “hall pass of tolerance.”  Yet, racism and homophobia continue to unravel the threads of our supposedly all-inclusive flag of freedom.

Bullying has been around long enough to be recognized for what it is. Despite efforts from schools and work forces, however, no real ending appears to be in sight.  Most offenses are currently punished by a mere slap on the wrist.

Every time an act of bullying or discrimination occurs and nothing is done about it, the curve of tolerance shifts. The next would-be bully will think less and less of possible repercussions. How would your reaction or involvement change if you knew that same person would come back for you some day?

We each have the power within us to make change happen. It might even be the most terrifying act we’ve ever experienced, but I assure you, it really does get better and will only continue to get better if we work together and support each other in times of need.

The recently reported teen suicides that resulted from irresponsible and unchecked bullying are heart-wrenching to witness, but they’ve been happening for years, whether the media has been reporting it or not.

This is where you can help. We’ve got to take action now; not tomorrow, not next week, but  now.

Seriously folks, kids are dying.

If you or somebody you know is questioning his or her own life, don’t hesitate another minute—take action. There are far too many unnecessary losses in this world, and you might be able to prevent another.

Hug your friends and remind them why they are so important to you. Most importantly, listen to them; you might be surprised.